"certain people come to your life to love you and leave you, two things, maybe because you werent able to take care of them as much as they neeed and maybe, it will make you the man youre supposed to be."
Those were her words. And I'm hanging to it for dear life. The heart wants to be with each other, the brain says we need to learn. Its easier to follow the heart and its tough to follow the brain. But as she said I needed to grow up. And I'm aware of that myself. She was right all along. I needed to take this seriously. Its not that I haven't taking it seriously but for sure there was still a lot of room for improvement. She had every right to scold me for it. I realized I just can't poke fun at this. This is my whole life ahead of me and it aint no joking matter. I got some serious cleaning up to do at my life. Getting rid of the skeletons was just one thing. Keeping the pieces that I have left is another story. Im on her side with this one. I trust her. I trust in the direction that she will lead us on our lives. And I trust my heart to seek for her. To find her. Winning her back. No matter what. Its amazing how she can read me like a book. Letting me hear it even if nothing happened yet. And lucky me to have someone like her. Someone who protects me from myself. She is entrusting me that I do my part to get better. When I hit rock bottom i lost the sense to rely on myself and which usually results to a flight of stories, lame excuses and heinous lies. Up to until now i can't believe that I did. But i have to grow up and stand up for what I did. In order to that, I have to be strong. She paved me the way for change and she's trusting me to take the wheel now. The commander got some orders and I'm going to follow it. In trusting others I will learn to trust myself again. I just hope she won't drop me like a magazine. And that she will continue reading me as we go along to write our own chapters yet still finding ourselves on the same page somehow. Its about time I get a pen and let paper hold all this weight. Or in this case blogger. Damn straight my addiction took a big part of me which made me not enough for everyone I love. I have so much to learn and so much to heal. Good thing about it now is I know where to start. God gave me the best woman to love. And I know i have to recover for me to love her as she deserves. My whole heart and my strength. Thats her. I'll do everything i can to win her back when I'm all better. Chase her like a worker bee goes back to his queen. Make my way back to her. Maybe thats why today, February 14, 2012, Valentines day started off that way for me. Cupid need not to hit me in the heart because she's already there to stay. What I needed was to sink it in for me on everything that I'm supposed to do. And so cupid got me in the head. Cupid hit me in the head.
No comments:
Post a Comment